Pretty me

Let me start with a song: “I am not a pretty girl that is not what I do. I’m no damsel in distress and I don’t need to be rescued”. 

I used to be a chubby, smart little girl. My parents although they had their concerns about my weight always focused on the importance of education. Since I was little I took extracurricular activities in order to become an intelligent person in the future. I hope it doesn’t sound tacky but I think I did well on that field and became an intelligent, interesting person to talk to. And it was because I worked hard. It also happened that I’m kind of cute…

To some, being pretty is a blessing; to me sometimes it’s a pain in the ass. Starting in college but mostly in my first job and even now I have to hear my colleagues making stupid assumptions. I remember one day I had hearing in court, I knew it will be tough because I had a lot of petitions  but I was ready, I had done my job and I could answer any questions and fight till I get want we needed in order to win this case. I had to face a very unprofessional judge who kept smiling at me, flirting with me before and after the hearing… But truly kept it serious during the hearing and I had to fight but he finally granted his permission to our demands.

When I came back to the office I explained my girl-colleagues how unprofessional this guy was before and after the hearing. The answer of one of them bugged me so much… “awesome, you manage to get it because your hot, good for you. I wish I could use my body to get people to agree on things”. The truth is I never thought he agreed to my petitions because he was interested on me until she said that. I told her her assumption bugged me and she couldn’t understand why it was so unsettling, she saw beauty as an asset. I do to but I don’t give a damn about external beauty, I’m more concern about what’s inside.

You might think I’m over reacting but I assure you this is not a onetime thing, it’s been like this for a long time. I could tell you about how an English colleague on his 70’s wrote a note for 86 lawyers about how meeting me was the most wonderful thing it happened to him and that the memory of me sipping a beer we’ll always accompany him… He didn’t mention a word on the article I had written… so it still bothers me sometimes. 

Today I went for coffee with the guys. They feel very free to say anything about everything in front of me and I appreciate that. Today the conversation was about how our the women at our firm were bug ugly, except me “of course, that’s out of the question, but you know that”. Right, because what you’re looking for in a lawyer is how pretty damn good he/she looks… Jesus!! You should see how (not) handsome these guys are. Funny, yes, smart, very, sexy hell no. And that’s ok for them, but not ok when it comes to us girls. 

Because you know, we have to be smart, pretty but not a lot so they won’t question why we manage to win a case, our nails and outfits should match at all times, must keep up with the news, the names of the clients and their nephews and at the same time make sure your being a great colleague and you remember the names of their wives, kids, dogs and where they were born.