Going back to therapy (also known as going back to the gym)

Hello Hello! Sport has always been important in my life. I grew up being in the national fencing team and after I had to quit in order to pursue other dreams I started skiing, sailing, joined a gym... I was actually able to keep up with my exercise while visiting my dad in the hospital daily. Which only proves my point, if you really want it, you make it happen. 

What I adore about sports is the feeling after a workout. No matter what happens, even if you are playing a tennis match and you miserably lose to your opponent it doesn't matter. At least your heart beat increased, your muscles stretched and have sweat running down your face and it's such a satisfying feeling.

When I went to therapy one of my doctors recommendations was to force myself to stay active. I couldn't agree more. If you are going thru something take at least 30 minutes of the day, preferably those you will spent sitting down overthinking, and go for a run, or just a fast walk. You will see a change and feel it too (in your mind and your body). 

Last year I started Bikram Yoga, which is a yoga you practice at 40º degrees and it first kicks your ass but then you feel soooo good. Back then I could only afford one day a week but it was a moment of peace combined with a high intensity sport. I absolutely loved it, but moving to a smaller city meant a change of habits.

Arriving here I thought at least I will be able to keep my gym rhythm, which basically meant go to everybody combat class possible. Well, surprise surprise, only one gym here caries Les Mills program. The gym was excellent but they only had one class of body combat and the location is not so great because you must take the car to get there (and find a spot to park).

I couldn't care less... I made some research, the math and convinced my husband to join in. We did it and I couldn't wait for combat (which is today) so I started with Zumba. I had a blast! I don't think I really burn that much but I founded myself inhibited and I'm sure being arrhythmic I actually didn't do it that bad.

I was surprised by the amount of people in the class! And from all ages (I was probably the youngest)! Today I'm going back, this time for body combat, I can't wait!!

Introductions and life experience

Hi! I'm Me. Two years ago I had given up on myself. After my dad lost the battle to leukemia I was completely destroyed. 

The battle against cancer was fierce and my mum and I like to think myself made sure my dad wasn't alone on the battlefield. We actually won the first battle, he was able to go back home, eat all he wanted and live a normal life (I won't lie, the process was very hard on all of us but worth it every sweat drop of it). A few months later we lost the war and we lost me.

Besides for the fact of losing him which was obviously devastating I also made a new acquaintance, the postwar syndrome also known as depression. It took me way too long to ask for help but I'm glad I did, but I'm not glad I rushed into stopping the treatment because I realize now I wasn't ready. 

My doctors said it was a very common reaction. I wasn't comforted by that, actually nothing brought me comfort these days. When my dad went back to the hospital I remember going there at my lunch break to spend it with him. I spent most of my weekends with him. When he said goodbye I didn't know what to do at lunch or on weekends. 

It's so ironic. No one wants to live like that, but once you do you rather live it like that than go home without him. I miss him every day. I think about him so much. And the funny thing about it is we weren't that close before he got sick.

I struggle every day to be positive and overcome depression because the horrible thing about it is it never goes away. So I guess I keep fitting, it's just a different battlefield.

This blog is intended to by a safe place to people who can relate to my story. It could be a place to share our pain, our fears...but above all our victories. Because the war I lost that was enough losing for a lifetime. 

Care to join me?