Frustation

Back to the routine, and back is the black dog... And what made him grow this time are the multiple arguments I have with my husband. 

We argue about money, he thinks you should save and save and save, which means we are in a situation where we can even buy the food we need. He says that's fine because we can accept all the food her mother cooks. First, it's very sad to me that two supposedly independent persons are depending on someone else's fridge, especially when it comes to a 70 year old woman's fridge. Then I have no control whatsoever on the things I want to eat because we have to base our menus on what she provides. Finally I find frozen food disgusting so I'm basically trying to eat healthy, without spending more than 20 € a week and let me tell you how complicated it is to fix a weekly menu (having to cook two different things for two persons). I think we should definitively save money, but not up to this point. 

Another matter we argue about is regarding how often we should visit or families. We go visit their parents once a month, so we've been there 4 times since we moved. We've been to my home 0, I went alone 1 time and then my mother came visit 1. The fact that he keeps complaining about only spending 3 days a month with them makes me want to slap him. I understand he wants to see them, but I want to see my mother as often as he does... Or even more, considering my mother is alone. No kids visiting her or taking care of her, no husband, no nothing!! I'm her only child, not only I feel responsible for leaving her alone, but I'm not even able to go visit her... Because of the f****** savings plan. 

And finally, something that's inside of my mind but I'm not telling him is how much I regret moving here. I gave up my live, my beautiful, huge, comfy home, my mother, a nice fulfilling secured job, my friends, the sun... for him. And he takes it for granted. I'm just part of his planned life, I don't even have a saying on any decisions. 

FRUSTATED