To care or not to care.

They say rough times either kill you or make you stronger. I can't tell what they're doing to me. This week is been intense, in two days I had people crying on the phone. Amazingly enough I felt nothing, I was mostly annoyed. When did this happen? I used to empathize with everyone around me. I guess you could consider it a problem sometimes because I couldn't help of feeling sorry and think about others people problems. But this "problem" was also a good thing, I was a good listener and it showed I cared (and that I had feelings).

Is it possible that I'm now immune to the suffering of the others? I hope not because the answer to my question will then have to be KILL. To me not caring about the others equals being dead inside (and I don't want to be dead!) No amount of suffering could make you forget that there are others also suffering. It's necessary to acknowledge that because if you don't you might become selfish and self-centered. 

After discussing this with my lovey-dovey he says it's probably because I'm getting used to do my job, I don't think it's a very good excuse. I think as part of my job I need to be able to stay connected to the people. But he's grateful I'm taking distance with other's people problems. 

Two points of view... But I need to feel good about myself so I'll work on it. 

MY Guardian Angel

My dad had few issues with money in life. During his last days he had to be extremely careful with his expenses but he manage to always support my family and he paid for my education, including three years of studies in Paris. 

A few months after he passed away I was trying to get my finances in order when my banker told me my dad had open a bank account for me a few years ago. I started to cry and the poor guy couldn't understand why, he thought he was giving me great news. At that moment I could only think about my father, making such a huge effort to make sure I had some financial stability. I realize then there are no limits to the love a father has for their kids.

As you know I don't make any money where I am and we are having a hard time dealing with a lot of expenses since we got married. A couple of weeks ago I receive a letter from a different bank informing me they were going to charge me for some account opened under my name. I didn't knew I had an account there so I went there and found out I had another surprise from my dad. 

My dad keeps taking care of me two years after he is gone. I can't believe how lucky I am to have such a guardian angel. I should be happy, I'm working on that. I'm just in shock for now and terribly missing him. I know at any moment I will burst into tears..